The Warped Paintball Psalm

The paintball is my master; I shall not want any other god before me.
He makes me to spend great gobs of money I do not have.
He leads me beside ATM machines.
He empties my wallet.
He leads me on spending sprees, for his name’s sake.
Yea, though as I drive to the paintball field,
I know I will buy everything.
My marker and my mask, they are never enough.
He empties my pockets before me in the midst of my friends.
He robs my family of a quality lifestyle.
Poverty and destitution shall follow me all the days of my life,
But I will play paintball forever.

Amen

(Written without any thought of malice or disrespect for those of religious persuasions.)