Convincing your parents to let you play more paintball

Young Ball players are essential to the growth, cultural acceptance and eventual Olympic Game Status of Paintball. Convincing your parents to be active sponsors of your future paintballing is important and should be treated as serious business. Many parents will be reluctant to even entertain much support of playing ball, and it may require some major whining to get out on the fields.

Try to remember that they come from an era which grew out of Hippy Love and the war on War. They will likely as not look at anything to do with shooting anything at another living creature as being inherently wrong. They may not see Paintball as a Sport, game or just plain Fun. It’s up to you to change this benighted attitude. Do so with a forgiving, loving, but stubborn Heart, and you’ll soon be joyfully gogging your friends on the field.

The Basic tactic in paintball is to flank your opposition. You can learn a life lesson here and try to turn the flank on your parents objections by using some of the following arguments and ideas to bring them about to your way of thinking. Approach your parents armed with humor and joy, as these are two qualities all parents wish to see in their offspring, then pounce on them mercilessly.

A full hopper of Reasons.
– Paintball develops hand-eye coordination. You may already use this reasoning as a way to get video and play station games, but Paintball will ALSO develop the butt-move coordination your mom yells about.

– The Great Outdoors! Fresh Air! Nature ‘walks/run’. Wave about a used copy of The Botanist Guide to Paintball (‘Douglas Fir sapling branches make excellent barrel swabs.’; ‘ A walnut tree twig makes the best impromptu cocker back block pin’), but do not wave about Paintball WildLife, the story of the Jax Warriors B Team’s wildest escapades.

– Noble Knight In Training! Where better to bring into activity those noble ideals of ye olde school than on the fields of Paint? Emphasize the Noble idea but play ball like a Viking!

– Honor and Good Sportsmanship. This is for real. In most situations out there in the fray, you’ll have to play a game of honor. When you’re out, you’re out. Even if it’s a hard play, you usually know when you’ve been eliminated. Keep true to the honor of the game, and your parents will probably take notice, and approve, especially if you mention it a lot. It also can improve your skills, as it will give you an honest approach to your ability level and this allows you to really learn how to play better.

– It’s like playing Tag, only you touch someone with a paintball! Yes, Really! It’s just like that, even more fun, actually.

– You’re learning that you do not want to be around real guns with real bullets. When using this approach, be sure to appear as if you’ve learned something quite important. When the hailstorm begins, just think how it’d be if they were real bullets! Scary!

– Sociability. Nothing beats the camaraderie of Paintballers. Here’s a good chance for you to climb out of your anti-social shy self and meet and make new friends. Old and young, ball players all share a love for the game, so you can make a wider range of new buds. Introducing older players who appear respectable and polite, will go a long way to easing your parents into letting you out on the field. Tell ‘em; “Social skills are essential for a balanced childhood. You don’t want a surly anti-social child, do you?”

– The Good ol’ Yankee Tinkering Approach. “Dad I wanna be an engineer. I want to BUILD things.” You don’t have to tell him you want to build paintball guns, let him think you want to build and shape the world around you. Engineering takes brains; let him think you have them. Engineering starts with the simple stuff, toys to tinker around with. Cars to help fix. Paintball Guns to improve and accessorize! Your latest project? A better paintball gun! First, though, you’ll need an autococker to practice on.

– Soccer Mom= Paintball Mom. The balls are just smaller, but the sporting fun is the same. Find a field where Mom can watch you win!

– Your Dad is in the Pile of Wet Leaves Club? Enlist Mom’s help in getting HIM out of the house. Once he starts shooting, your troubles are over. Hello Angel!

– If they think it’s expensive now, tell them how back in the day paintballs cost 10¢ per, HPA bottles cost over $400, goggles weren’t the super safe masks they are now, paintball guns cost well over $300 for most varieties, and players had to walk barefoot 12 miles through snow to get to a field. Bah! It’s cheap now, and besides you’ll take a summer job to help pay back the loan you need to get a ‘Mag with an HPA system!

– Sibling Bonding. Help pull your family together! A family that paintballs together- stays together! You have brothers? You have cousins? Name your ‘team’ after your family. Name your gun after your father’s father. Make cool logos on your family computer, and print them up. Show some creativity for crying out loud! Team Jones? Team Smith? Team Family Values!

– Play on your sister’s emotions by mentioning some cool guy she likes or who may have told you HE likes her(at least he meant that when he brushed past you in the school hall…) has been playing paintball on the same field as you! What a coincidence! With her in on your side, you double your chances of playing some ball!

– Participation in competitive sports has been shown to raise Test Scores! Really. Proven Scientific fact! Which Scientists? 9 out of 10 of them, that’s which ones. You read it in a magazine (Right here!)

If you use some or all of these reasons and your parents are still slowing down your paintball career, you’re going to have to get drastic. Look in the phone book for a local Lawyer’s name, then write them a little letter ‘from’ the lawyer demanding that they stop impinging on your civil liberties. You can easily find a mock legal letter somewhere on the ‘net, just paste it in below your opening statement that you are bringing legal suit against them, Mom and Dad, to force them to allow you to play more paintball.

Do this all with a smile on your face, Laughter in your eyes, and Love in your heart and sooner or later they’ll melt and you’ll be on your way to the Olympics!

Weekend warrior?! Yeah, like EVERY weekend!