Paintball Ten Commandments

And he walked upon the mountain and before him a bunker blazed with golden light and it spoke to him, “Remove your boots for the field you stand on is holy. You shall obey these 10 commandments or perish from the fields.”

1. Thou shalt wear protection. No! that’s is not what I mean but that is a good idea as well. A certified well-maintained goggle system that has been approved for paintball should be worn at all times in any areas designated as a play area. This would include the chrono or target area. Do not limit yourself to just a goggle system, wear knee pads, elbow pads, and gloves. Protect any area t hat might risk injury from a fall or direct hit. (Guys I recommend you bring a cup or a large bag of ice – just in case).

2. Thou shalt plug thy barrel. Anytime or place that anyone’s mask is not on, your gun should be plugged and pointed toward the ground . If you are eliminated – plug your gun. Any area that a referee or field operator designates as a non-play area, your gun should be plugged. Always use a barrel plug that fits snug into your barrel. Make sure that it is secure. Get in the habit of checking it regularly . Think a paintball hurts try a barrel plug in the back of your head, Ouch! Point the gun down at the ground.

3. Thou shalt not adjust thy gun velocity over the posted maximum fps . The posted maximum velocity is determined by what is considered to be safe. If you exceed the limit you are endangering those around you. If you exceed the limit you are cheating and should not be playing paintball. Try needlepoint. Do not ever adjust your velocity on the field. Any adjustments should be performed at the chrono station only. The obvious reason here is you can check your velocity directly and accurately.

4. Thou shalt not kill. What I mean by this is literal. Do not ever shoot at rabbits, dogs, birds, squirrel, bison, horses, fish and just animals in general (not even snakes, I hate snakes but don’ t shoot at them, run). Human with paintball gun, on paintball field, with mask OKAY.

5. Thou shalt not wipe. Do not ever wipe off paint to cover the fact that you are hit. Someone went to a lot of trouble to put that there leave it alone. I would advise you to never ever wipe paint off on the field unless your standing in the designate hit man zone, or if you have to (because let’s say you can’ t see make sure the Referee understands what you are doing). Wiping a hit is a sin that is not excusable, ever. It is an abomination. You will not be forgiven. If you wipe you are ruining the sport.

6. Thou shalt only discharge thy weapon on the field and in designated areas. Do not fire at anyone that is not playing the game. If you drive around with your gun in your car gassed up with paint in the hopper, seek professional help. I am not joking. You are a psychotic if you shoot at anyone that has not consented to playing paintball. Do not shoot at or in anyway get paint on any object that is not on a designated paintball playing field or target area. Do not shoot at cars, trees, signs, lampposts, buildings or anything else that would fall into this category that surround the paintball park.

7. Respect thy Referee and Field Operators. The referee’ s main job in recreation play is to keep you safe. Listen to them. They will give you instructions; carry them out or ask them to clarify if you do not understand. They have a very difficult job (it is tough to be hit all day with barrel plugs, squeegees and paint and still smile at the end of the day). Most refs do the work because they love the sport (no-one ever-retired on paintball ref pay).

8. Respect thy fellow players. Sportsmanship is the key to good paintball. Paintball is an adrenaline packed sport. Each one of us on the field should remain in complete control. Be responsible for your actions. If you’re hit you’re out. If your out, don’ t worry about it, the next game is minutes away. Do not throw a fit, other than entertaining the rest of us, you are accomplishing nothing. Never ever lay your hands on another player with aggressive intent.

9. Thou shalt not over-shoot a target. Excessive fire is inappropriate on any field and in any circumstance. More than 3 broken paintballs on one player fired from the same gun is rude. It shows lack of control and skill from the player discharging his weapon. Don’t do it.

10. Eliminated men shall not communicate. Dead men don’t talk, shoot or whine. Graciously exit the field remembering the above: barrel plug in and goggles on. Be polite after all you are going to be playing with or against those other folks all day.

Obey these 10 commandments and you shall prosper as a player and live to be a ripe old age. May the paint never break in your barrel.